As the holidays approach, I feel in my heart a sadness for the family we've lost and yet a hope for the future. I almost feel guilty for being, on the whole, at peace, when I know how Uncle Byron's family is suffering. Indeed I'm anxious and grieved for them. At the same time, I know on a deep level that Byron is happy now -- this time last year he was just beginning to be sick; last Christmas we thought he would die -- and that this first holiday without him is the first step in his wife's and daughters' healing. Things will only get better from here.