slightly emo rant

Should I feel guilty about being an optimist?
No matter what happens to me, I always, eventually, even if it takes years, I learn to rise above it - it's my nature. Though ever since Joseph died I've honestly had pretty bad emotional issues, I guess my real personality is optimistic and... strong. I can deal with it.
But why do my friends have to suffer so badly? My closest friends, not having been through quite as shocking a tragedy as I have, are emotionally worse off than even me. I would like nothing more than to help them somehow get through their trouble, but I can't even relate to some of their thoughts.
I worry about them constantly. I remember being there, with some things, at certain points in my life, but never with such a black outlook on my existence. I'm so, so worried about their welfare and safety, both physically and spiritually.
But I can't reach them. I can't descend into despair to bring them out of it. Because, if not never, not in a long time, have I felt real despair.
...But I can pray for them. I can love them.